I'm at my friend, Julie's, house. She also has her boyfriend, John, and his friend, Art. It's 5:00 and we're already watching the scary movies. We spent the day goofing off and laughing together. I think John and Art are going to start to be my friends now. I don't hang out with them at all even though Art is one of my classes. Julie's parents won't be home for a few weeks, there taking a second honeymoon. Julie and John have been going out for about a few months or so and they seem to be in love already. It's so sweet. Or at least that's what I'm hearing from Julie. We're just sitting on the couch watching zombie/slasher movies, my favorite! Art is sitting on my right, Julie my left and John sits next to her. Me and Julie scream when a zombie pops out of nowhere to sink It's rotting teeth into the main female character. Then we all laugh at how childish we are. I'm having so much fun., my other friend , Ashley, was suppose to come but her parents said no. I look over at the cute couple, John's eyes switch from my direction to the TV. 'Was he just looking at me? No It's just my imagination.' Then I observe the cute couple. Julie's hugging his arm and resting her head on his shoulder, she looks so happy. Except John doesn't. His expression seems blank. Could it be boredom? Sadness? No... Bu something seems wrong. I try not to think about it and it disappears from my mind and I focus on the zombies. Two movies later and Art is already fast asleep on the couch. So Julie grabs John's hand and retreats into her room for the night. She's such a good influence. I stay in her mom's room and fall asleep fast. 'What is that? what's pulling?' I try and open my eyes from a deep sleep. When I manage to open them half way, they open wide immediately and I see John. Undressing me. I was going to scream except for when I sucked in all the air her clamped his hand over my mouth, hard. My wide-eyed fear doesn't bother him.I start shaking and I try to breath as good as I can through my nose, though it seems I'm not getting any air. He continues. Too many thoughts running through my head like the busiest bee hive. So fast there and I can't understand them. 'What? What's happening? How? Why? What do I do? What can I do?' I try to move but I'm frozen. Shaking my head no a thousand times over and over is all I can do. But he even takes that away from me when his grip on my face tightens and his nails dig into me and I feel liquid run down my cheek. Then a different liquid spills from my eyes, thick and hot, burning my face and reddening my eyes. Trying to scream. Trying to move. Not trying hard enough. 'Help!' He's got me, no escape now. I should have done something. Anything! But I was too weak. I'm an idiot. I could have done something. Julie's my best friend how could I let this happen? 'So is it my fault?...'
I lay there. Thinking. Crying. I look over at the clock on the bedside. 3:00 A.M. it says. I still can't move. So I lay there. Wait. Check the clock again. 7:00 A.M. I force myself to get up. Go to the bathroom and take care of my bruises and scratches. I look like shit. I decide to take a shower,get dressed. Then I get the hell out of there. I walk around the back of my house and climb through my bedroom window, and cry. I cry so much I force myself to stop because my parents might wake up. I don't know what to do so I sit on the floor next to my bed, starring into the carpet. It's 10:30 already and my phone rings.
"Ammika, where are you? What happened?" Julie practically yells in the phone.
"When did you leave?" she exclaims.
"... I don't know." I lied.
"Well, you should have at least waited till morning. I had no idea where you were."
"Are you okay?" her tone of voice changes to concern. I realize how broken and miserable I sound.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, just really tired." I lied again.
We say our goodbyes and hang up. 'Did that even happen last night? Or was I dreaming...?' My hand touches the side of my face and I feel scratches on my cheek and I quickly move my hand away. It wasn't a nightmare. I wish it was. I herd my mom and dad get out of bed so I climbed out from my window again and went to the front door. My mom answered.
"Back so soon?" she said with a coffee cup in her hand.
"Yeah." is all I said. Then went back to my room. Didn't eat or sleep all day. Tomorrow I have school, and I'm terrified.
The next day, I'm waiting for my bus and my heart is pounding. 'What if I see him? What if he tries to talk to me? Should I tell Julie? No. No one will ever know. I won't tell any body.' The bus screeches to a stop, I climb on and hope that today will be normal. It's not long util my bus arrives at my school. I step off the bus and look around for Julie. We always meet in the mornings, break, lunch and after school. Even during passing periods. Then I see her walking fast towards me followed by Ashley. I walk towards them and then I notice Julie's face and eyes are red, shes crying. 'Does she know?' I stop in my tracks.
"Julie whats wro-" SLAP! She cuts me off wit a hard slap right across my face.
"You bitch! I thought you were my friend! After all we've been through together and then you just decide to go behind my back with John?!" I look at her confused and tears start flowing from my eyes.
"What are you talking about?" I almost choke out the words.
"John told me the reason why you left the other night was because you tried to sleep with him and when he turned you down you left." she starts crying harder. I reach my hand out but Ashley pushes me away.
"Haven't you done enough?" she says. I look around and there's a crowd of people circling us, all of them giving me an evil look. I can't breath. I run to the bathroom and lock myself in the stall and cry. I miss first period because Julie's in my class. Then at lunch and break stay inside the bathroom and skip out on fifth and sixth period. Ashley and Art are in those two classes. When I get home I don't bother taking out my homework. Instead I take out a knife from the kitchen drawer. In the bathroom of my room I take the knife in my hands, and slowly push it hard into my skin and drag it down my thigh. Beads of red blood swell from the cut and then it runs down the sides on my leg. I don't stop the bleeding yet. I just sit on the floor watching my stress, guilt and sadness somehow leak out of my body. But it doesn't last forever. I clean the knife and my cut, I store the knife inside of my underwear drawer so no one will find it. I might want to do it again. The next day came so fast i blinked my eyes and saw the sun. I get off the bus and no sign of Julie. I start to walk to the girls bathroom. On the way there I pass by the boys bathroom. There was four guys standing outside starring at me and whisper things to each other. I ignore them. But I jump and try to scream but the sound is blocked my something that tastes horrible and they all grab me. I realize that the thing in my mouth is a dirty rag. I do what I do best again. Cry. Hysterically. I scream but they come out muffled by the gag. 'No not again! Why is this happening? I didn't do anything! Please let me go! Let me go! Help!' Silly me. No one can my thoughts. There going to do worse to me than John did. The boys laugh and ensnare me with words that hurt so bad I will never forget them. Just when they about to tear my clothes off I hear loud footsteps running in the hall towards us.
"Hey," a deep voice yells, "what do you think your doing?" 'I'm saved.' It was an older guy, maybe an 11th grader. He must have seen what they did. The other boys ran off and my hero took the gag from my mouth and I was still crying.
"Let's go to the office." he said. I freeze.
"No! No one can know about this, promise me you won't tell!" I begged.
"But if something like this happens again? What are you going to do?" I stayed silent. "You need to tell someone." he says.
"No I'll be fine, please, don't tell any one." He stares at me for a while. I took that as a regrettable agreement. After that I left school, I didn't want to go to any of my classes.